PASTA with Feta and Vegetables.

It pays to eat pasta sweepstakes:

http://www.itpaystoeatpasta.com/sweeps/index.cfm?u=2E701AC7-6B4F-4C7B-B716-68816EE8BD7D

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/adamsjes

Late New Years Resolution...Dont be a bitch.

It occurred to me that im often referred to as a bitch. While I can be abrasive, I dont think that I am a bitch. Merely overly honest. However that being said...im working on keeping those 'bitchy' thoughts in my head instead of in my mouth. Ive never strived to censor myself before so this is all very new to me. Thinking before I speak has never been important to me because i always said what i wanted and lived with the consequences but it seems like people want me to change and im beginning to think it might be for the best. Sp now instead of knowing exactly how I feel about you, people will have to wonder if I actually like them or if my 'meredith girl' is really that good.

It seems exhausting. Ill have to think this over.

*A 'meredith girl' is the ability to hate someone profusely but still maintain the illusion that she and the enemy are bff while the enemy is perfectly unaware of the amount of hatred (be it justified or not).

Life at Disney is drawing to a close. I am way over it and the dramatic people that seem to inhabit it. I'm moving on to greener pastures. Peace out Walt.

I can't do this.

I wish that I could just accept it and move on but I cant.

Is this who I am?

For the first time in my life, I have everything to lose in the relationship. I've never really invested this much before.

It worries me.

Its amazing how lonely i feel in Florida. I dont want to be here anymore.

Don't ask, don't tell.

So I dont understand why dont ask dont tell is necessary. This guy (im sure hes a senator, just dont know from where...(saxby in case your wondering) say that if we appeal it then we create a risk for moral, good order, discipline and cohesion. Clearly this man has never been to Disney. EVER. We have a good majority of gay and lesbian cast members. Walt Disney World has great employee moral, we are the most organized company (gays dont have good order, seriously dude?, word vomit much?) Discipline...c'mon now. Is he trying to say that all gays are lazy? How does he think all these rallys get put together? Or the millions of people that show up to these rallys.

UGH.

I am a mess. Its really as simple as that. The smallest thing happens and it spins me out of control...suddenly i cant sleep, im nauseous, im irritable, i'm going running. If i didnt know any better I would think i'm pregnant. Nope, lucky me, i'm just an emotional basket case. Awesome.


Can I just move home?

Books I'd like to read.

1984 by George Orwell
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers
Mencken Chrestomathy by H.L. Mencken
A Month Of Sundays: Searching For The Spirit And My Sister by Julie Mars
A Passage to India by E.M. Forster
A Quiet Storm: A Novel by Rachel Howzell Hall
A Room of One’s Own (Annotated) by Virginia Woolf
A Separate Peace by John Knowles
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (P.S.) by Betty Smith
Dreiser American Tragedy (Library of America) by Theodore Dreiser
Anna Karenina (Oprah’s Book Club) by Leo Tolstoy
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
Atonement: A Novel by Ian McEwan
Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress: A Novel by Dai Sijie
Bee Season: A Novel by Myla Goldberg
Bel Canto (P.S.) by Ann Patchett
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Beowulf: A New Verse Translation
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Brick Lane: A Novel by Monica Ali
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
The Collected Stories of Eudora Welty by Eudora Welty
Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales & Poems by Edgar Allan Poe
Cousin Bette (Modern Library Classics) by Honoré de Balzac
Crime and Punishment (Enriched Classics) by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Daisy Miller by Henry James
David Copperfield (Penguin Classics) by Charles Dickens
Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Demons (Everyman’s Library (Alfred a. Knopf, Inc.), 182) by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Bantam Classics) by Robert Louis Stevenson
Eleanor Roosevelt by Blanche Wiesen Cook
Ella Minnow Pea: A Progressively Lipogrammatic Epistolary Fable by Mark Dunn
Emma (Penguin Classics) by Jane Austen
Empire Falls (HBO Tie-in) by Richard Russo
Ethan Frome (Enriched Classics) by Edith Wharton
Rick Steves’ Europe Through the Back Door 2007: The Travel Skills Handbook (Rick Steves) by Rick Steves
Extravagance: A Novel by Gary Krist
Fahrenheit 451: A Novel by Ray Bradbury
Fat Land: How Americans Became the Fattest People in the World by Greg Critser
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Frankenstein (Enriched Classics) by Mary Shelley
Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger
Galapagos (Delta Fiction) by Kurt Vonnegut
Hamlet (Folger Shakespeare Library) by William Shakespeare
Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
Holidays on Ice: Stories by David Sedaris
How the Light Gets in by M. J. Hyland
How to Breathe Underwater by Julie Orringer
Howl by Allen Ginsberg
Inherit the Wind by Jerome Lawrence
Jane Eyre (Signet Classics) by Charlotte Brontë
Just a Couple of Days by Tony Vigorito
Leaves of Grass (Enriched Classics) by Walt Whitman
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
Life of Pi: Student Edition by Yann Martel
Little Dorrit (Penguin Classics) by Charles Dickens
Little Women (Signet Classics) by Louisa May Alcott
Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton
Lord of the Flies : by William Golding
Madame Bovary (Oxford World’s Classics) by Gustave Flaubert
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter (Perennial Classics) by Simone de Beauvoir
Middlesex: A Novel by Jeffrey Eugenides
Moby-Dick: or, The Whale (Penguin Classics) by Herman Melville
Monsieur Proust (New York Review Books Classics) by Celeste Albaret
Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
My Lai 4: A Report on the Massacre and Its Aftermath by Seymour M. Hersh
My Life in Orange: Growing Up with the Guru by Tim Guest
My Sister’s Keeper: A Novel by Jodi Picoult
Nervous System: Or, Losing My Mind in Literature by Jan Lars Jensen
New Poems of Emily Dickinson by Emily Dickinson
Night (Oprah’s Book Club) by Elie Wiesel
Dawn Powell: Novels 1930-1942 (Library of America) by Dawn Powell
Of Mice and Men: (Centennial Edition) by John Steinbeck
Old School by Tobias Wolff
Oliver Twist (Penguin Classics) by Charles Dickens
On the Road (Penguin Great Books of the 20th Century) by Jack Kerouac
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: by Ken Kesey
Oracle Night: A Novel by Paul Auster
Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
Othello by William Shakespeare
Out of Africa by Isak Dinesen
Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk by Legs McNeil
Property by Valerie Martin
Pushkin: A Biography by T.J. Binyon
Pygmalion (Dover Thrift Editions) by George Bernard Shaw
Quattrocento by James Mckean
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi
Rescuing Patty Hearst: Memories From a Decade Gone Mad by Virginia Holman
Romeo and Juliet (Folger Shakespeare Library) by William Shakespeare
Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin
Sacred Time : A Novel (Hegi, Ursula) by Ursula Hegi
Sanctuary (A Modern Library Book) by William Faulkner
Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay by Nancy Milford
Seabiscuit: An American Legend by LAURA HILLENBRAND
Sense and Sensibility (Penguin Classics) by Jane Austen
Siddhartha: Siddhartha (Shambhala Classics) by Hermann Hesse
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Small Island: A Novel by Andrea Levy
The Snows of Kilimanjaro and Other Stories (Scribner Classics) by Ernest Hemingway
Song of the Simple Truth: The Complete Poems of Julia de Burgos by Julia de Burgos
Songbook by Nick Hornby
Speak, Memory (Everyman’s Library (Cloth)) by Vladimir Nabokov
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
Swann’s Way (Modern Library Classics) by Marcel Proust
Swimming With Giants: My Encounters With Whales, Dolphins, and Seals by Anne Collet
Sybil by Flora Rheta Schreiber
A Tale of Two Cities (Penguin Classics) by Charles Dickens
Tender Is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (Modern Library Classics) by Mark Twain
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon
The Art of War (Shambhala Classics) by Sun Tzu
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
The Bielski Brothers: The True Story of Three Men Who Defied the Nazis, Built a Village in the Forest, and Saved 1,200 Jews by Peter Duffy
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Code of the Woosters by P.G. Wodehouse
The Count of Monte Cristo (Penguin Classics) by Alexandre Dumas père
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe
The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem
The Fountainhead (Centennial Edition Hardcover) by Ayn Rand
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Group by Mary McCarthy
The Handmaid’s Tale (Everyman’s Library) by Margaret Atwood
The Holy Barbarians by lawrence lipton
The Hunchback of Notre-Dame (Signet Classics (Paperback)) by Victor Hugo
The Jungle (Modern Library Classics) by Upton Sinclair
The Kitchen Boy: A Novel of the Last Tsar by Robert Alexander
The Kite Runner (Riverhead Essential Editions) by Khaled Hosseini
The Last Empire: Essays 1992-2000 by Gore Vidal
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (The Chronicles of Narnia) by C. S. Lewis
The Little Locksmith: A Memoir by Katharine Butler Hathaway
The Lottery: And Other Stories by Shirley Jackson
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
The Manticore (Penguin Classics) by Robertson Davies
The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
The Meaning of Consuelo: A Novel (Bluestreak) by Judith Ortiz Cofer
The Metamorphosis: by Franz Kafka
The Naked and the Dead: 50th Anniversary Edition by Norman Mailer
The Name of the Rose (Everyman’s Library (Cloth)) by Umberto Eco
The Namesake (movie tie-in edition) by Jhumpa Lahiri
The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin
The Opposite of Fate by Amy Tan
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby
The Portable Dorothy Parker (Viking Portable Library) by Dorothy Parker
The Portable Nietzsche (Viking Portable Library)
The Price of Loyalty: George W. Bush, the White House, and the Education of Paul O’Neill by Ron Suskind
The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
The Rough Guide to Europe 2006 (Rough Guide Travel Guides) by Various Authors
The Scarecrow of Oz by L. Frank Baum
The Scarlet Letter (Modern Library Classics) by Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Second Sex (Everyman’s Library (Cloth)) by Simone De Beauvoir
The Secret Life of Bees (Penguin Essential Edition) by Sue Kidd
The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Song of Names by Norman Lebrecht
The Song Reader by Lisa Tucker
The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
The Story of My Life: The Restored Edition (Modern Library Classics) by Helen Keller
Sun Also Rises (Scribner Classics) by Ernest Hemingway
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters: A Novel by Elisabeth Robinson
Unabridged Journals by Sylvia Plath
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
Time and Again by Jack Finney
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Truth & Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett
Uncle Tom’s Cabin (Thrift Edition) by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Unless: A Novel (P.S.) by Carol Shields
Vanity Fair (Penguin Classics) by William Makepeace Thackeray
War and Peace (Oxford World’s Classics) by Leo Tolstoy
When the Emperor Was Divine by Julie Otsuka
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? by Edward Albee
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood: A Novel by Rebecca Wells

So I havent written in a while, but circumstances beyond my control bring me back. The thing is I may be a bitch but at least i dont wear rose colored glasses and think that everythings ok. If my boyfriend did other girls, or even just slept in their beds...i would never take him back. EVER. If you do, youre dumb. End of story.

My horrible awful no good smoke detector

My smoke detector is absolutely possessed. For the past 3 days our stupid smoke alarm keeps going off *BEEP BEEP BEEP* and then nothing. The homeowners association lady thinks that it was someone retaliating because we leave Charlie outside and apperently people are upset by that. So now if I can possibly call the nice firemen (the non-emergency line... where can I get that number?)will they come and check my alarms? I don't want to open the alarms in case something might be living in there. So... I'm sitting in the living room on edge and the alarm did it's little *BEEP BEEP* thing again. Oh, I lost it. I was going straight for the National Guard's number! This is getting freaking ridiculous.

In the end, I called my parents to see if they knew what would make a smoke detector go off if nothing was on fire. I felt all the walls in my apartment to make sure nothing was warm behind them. The oven hadn't been on since 9am, I hadn't cooked all day, and I NEVER burn candles.

As I sit here, three days later, exhausted and frustrated, I worry. I'm an incredibly fire-conscious person (my father being a firefighter and all), especially since I live "attached" to other people and can not control their actions. I really don't like it when my smoke detector (which only uses back up batteries--it's hard-wired) starts going off. Scares the shit out of me.

If you know any possible causes for a false alarm, please comment. I want to get this fixed asap.

Life Lessons

After a while you have to just give up. My family is falling apart and I cant save it anymore. Children shouldnt be faced with these issues. Im turning to God because I am fresh out of ideas. My dad lost $3,000 that we don't have. I don't even have that kind of money to offer to them. I dont even know what else to say. We were sinking before, but now we are done for. I cant fix this.

I have nothing good to report because not even I can find the silver lining this time. My dad has fucked us over. royally. and once again, all of us are going to pay for his mistakes.

My last day

So tomorrow is my last day at Animal Kingdom Lodge. I am more excited for that than I could ever explain. I have DAK-Lamations on Sunday and training starts Monday. Im nervous and excited.

I interviewed for vacation planner on Wednesday. I put in for full time and part time so all I can do is wait to hear something on that.

I am also still sick. I started last tuesday with a semi sore throat, by the time my mom arrived thursday night it was pretty full blown. It pretty much sucked life that my mom and sister (lindsay) were here and I was sick for most of it. A silver lining though, my roommates. I had to call in sick and they came through for me. Its strange to me to have friends that I can trust and rely on. Also, my sisters cheerleading squad took first in their divison!

Im having a horrid mood swing this week. I hate these, I always feel depressed and wasteful with my life.And alone. That may be the worst part. I hate to feel alone, which causes me to make foolish choices...like texting ex boyfriends that I am really better off without. The 'what am i doing since graduation from high school' facebook group is also not helping. Am I the only 22 year old from Hilton that isnt married and spawning? I certainly feel that way. I have two college degrees and yet Im using neither. I worked so hard to get through college that relationships took the fall, so I am not married or have a child. Why does that make me feel like a failure? Stupid mood swings. I like feeling happy and ditzy and like myself. Deep, reflectful Jessica is not a fun person.

Anyways, I need to get to bed. 7 am will be here sooner than I think.

WHOA.

Recently I was reading a friends facebook statuses about her hanging out with bands and loving what she does and I realized how unhappy I am. My job sucks. I hate going and I hate doing it, its not even that its boring...which it is. It is just awful and the managers are terrible. So after work yesterday I went to casting. I am dropping down to part time and hopefully interviewing for vacation planner soon. I have to believe that God will provide for me and lead me down the right path. There is a reason I cry every day when I have to get up and go to work, so I made the necessary change in order to get me back on the right path. This year is suppose to be fun and relaxing. Not stressful and making me hate my life.

So essentially I quit. I hate being a quitter, but I honestly couldnt stay. I dont know how some of those women do it so consistantly.

I also realized that my life is so painfully ordinary that I cant stand it. Nothing is happening in my life that makes me smile, or happy. I need something big and exciting to happen. I need...I dont know, I need something. I just dont know what it is yet.

Ways to NOT piss off your maid.

1) If you are sleeping, put the privacy sign on the door. We wont knock...its shocking, I know.
2) If you leave your room a mess, I personally will do as little as possible to make it clean.
3) Tips really do help your room get better service.
4) Dont ever piss off your maid. They will get even. Its not pretty
5) more to come as people make me angry

Meet Charlie

Emily just got a dog!! Yay! He is a besenji mix (I think thats how you spell it). Hes making me rethink the whole getting a dog thing. I hate the way dogs smell. Cats are way easier. No baths, no grooming, no nothing.

So I am an idiot and after I paid my rent, I transfered the $200 into my savings account, leaving me with nothing in my account to pay my rent! I spent most of my day correcting that stupid mistake.

I havent written in a while. I've been to stressed out with life. Im exhausted and I just give up. I need some renewed faith asap.

And they call it puppy love....

So we are all a little heartbroken today. We found out that we are not allowed to have pets in the apartment. Even though we asked multiple times and were always assured that it was allowed and all we would have to do if pay the fee and sign the pet addendum. Im getting more and more upset with this stupid company. They have taken advantage of us since the first time we called them.

Im so upset right now, but not as upset as Emily, who feel in love yesterday at the shelter and put in an application.

Well we are finally able to recieve mail. It seems lackluster after the let down of no pets, but it is still exciting. Also, the cleaning ladies are here right now. There are 5 of them and they seem to hate CT reality almost as much as we do. She said that they never call her to clean before and if they do sometimes they dont have water or electricity to clean with.

We're sauced...lets break glass!

Today was a horrible day at work. I never knew so many people could be so gross at the same time. I literally had to clean a bathroom of pee today. I just doused it in the disinfect and dove right in. Unfortunely it also meant that I missed my lunch and both of my breaks in order to get done on time. I also had a guest complaint room so I had to literally strip and disinfect EVERYTHING in the room. It took almost 2 hours and I had 11 rooms today.

In more exciting news, the handy man came. It was kinda like having my dad here. I told him our list and he just fixed it. Everything we didnt know how to do, he just fixed it. So our dryer is fixed, our freezer is making ice, our sink outlets produce electricity and he will return to fix our door and give us the proper ice tray! The cleaning ladies called Emily and we have contacted a lock smith about our mailbox. Things may actually be coming together at this point.

Todays movie: G.I. Joe